Slumlord

We've all met interesting people online. There are too many to not meet them. But have you actually met? In person? Rob got a healthy dose of strange yesterday.

My little family is leaving for a road trip to Utah and New Mexico in a week. When you're stuck in a car for hours on end, a cooler is a great thing to have on hand. Not having one, Rob looked online to see if he could get one cheap. You know, the kind that you can plug in so your food isn't drowning in melted ice. Rob found one he liked, and contacted the seller. Mike. Mike says, yes the cooler is still available, here's my phone number, call me and I'll give you my address so you can pick it up. But give me an hour's notice before you come. Rob calls, gets the address, and they set up a time for that evening.

Here's where it gets interesting. Rob forgot about their appointment, so a few minutes after they were supposed to meet he calls Mike to make sure it's still okay for him to go get the cooler. Mike says what address did I give you? Rob confirms, and they're back on- they're going to meet right away. When Rob gets there, though, Mike isn't home, only his roommate. Rob calls Mike - can the roommate show him the cooler? No, Mike will be there in 15 minutes. It turns out he left right after he talked to Rob the last time.

Rob gets back in the car to wait, but he isn't happy. Why in the world would Mike leave when he knew Rob would be there any minute? And the place kind of creeps him out. The yard is full of junk: sinks, toilets, you name it. Rob locks the doors. When Mike finally shows up 25 minutes later, they go in the house together. Mike seems nice enough. He gives Rob a tour of the house. Here's the kitchen, living room, bathroom. And this is your room, Mike says, you can grab your stuff and move in right away.

What?!

Um thanks, Rob says, but I'm just here for the cooler.

It turns out Mike is some kind of slumlord for poverty sticken students. They would have to be mighty hard up for money to live in a place like that.

Anyway, we got the cooler, but Rob wishes we had just bought new. It was that weird.

Big News

I have exciting news to share! Now, before you get ahead of yourself and assume I'm pregnant, let me tell you, it's not that exciting. No, yesterday I went clothes shopping (that's not my news, either, but it's related).

I hate clothes shopping. Especially when I need something really specific. In this case, black dress pants for work. I was also keeping my eye out for pretty much anything else that was nice and in my price range, as my wardrobe is very small and very very old (did I mention I hate shopping?). Anyway, I went from store to store to store, scouring the racks for black dress pants, with pockets. Not an easy thing to find in the summer. Even worse, I have a weird body shape, so when I did find black dress pants, they didn't fit. I have a disproportionately large waist, so if pants fit me in the leg, the waist is too small (muffin top alert!) and if the waist fits, the legs balloon out and look awful.

Rest assured, I did eventually find a pair. Nothing special, but they'll do. In the midst of that horrible experience, though, was one bright spot- my News. I bought a dress. I've never bought a dress before, haven't even worn one since I was 10 (with the exception of my wedding dress).

When I brought home my purchases and showed them to Rob, he was all "you bought at dress? You bought a dress?" Yes, yes, shocking. But I like it. Strangely enough, it actually fits me. It doesn't accentuate the areas I'm sensitive about, but it's not a shapeless bag, either. Even more strange, I could actually afford it. With the cosmos on my side, I figured I had no choice but to buy it.

So I did.